Are You Spending Your Energy Wisely?

Have you ever reached the end of the day feeling exhausted, even though you haven't done much physically?

Sometimes it's not your body that's tired – it’s your mind, your emotions, and your energy.

Many of us spend a huge amount of energy thinking about things we can't change.  We replay conversations.  We wonder "what if?"  We carry disappointment, grief, resentment, guilt, or regret for months - or even years.  We worry about what other people think.  We hold onto old stories that no longer serve us.

The truth is, every thought, emotion, and experience uses energy.

So the real question becomes...  Are you spending your energy wisely?

Most people carefully manage their money.  However, not as many people carefully manage their energy. Consider how often you think about how much energy you have. (No doubt you will think about it more if you find you often have low energy.)

When you think about it, your energy affects everything in your life, including (but not limited to) the following.

• Your health

• Your relationships

• Your decisions

• Your confidence

• Your creativity

• Your happiness

• Your ability to reach your goals

When your energy is scattered in ten different directions, you have very little left for creating the life you truly want.  (I've often been told I need to focus my energy more - I tend to get excited about things, and do 100 things at once! 😆) Or even really considering the life that you want.  You tend to just rush around on autopilot, never stopping long enough to consider the direction your life is taking, and if you feel fulfilled and happy.

Imagine trying to drive a car with only a small amount of fuel left in the tank, always worried that you’re about to run out of fuel, and be left standard somewhere, unable to get where you want to go.

That's what life can feel like when your energy is constantly being drained by the past.

Caroline Myss relates energy to money in a metaphor.  She suggests imagining that you have $100 a day to live.  If you spend $10 a day thinking of what someone told you yesterday, that’s $90 remaining.  If you spend another $20 on a fight you had a friend a month ago, and $20 a day thinking of how your partner did you wrong, and $15 a day remembering how your parents treated you – that only leaves you with $45 a day to spent energy-wise – and you still have the rest of the day to go!  And if you are planning in your head what you want to say to that person who upset you yesterday, you’re already in an energy deficit.  This is why so many of us often find they run out of energy well before the end of the day.

It's natural to think about the past sometimes.  Everyone does it (including me).  It helps us process the emotions, and learn from our experiences.  Considering and reviewing the past, on occasion, can help us learn and grow.  What could we have done differently?  What did we learn about other people – or ourselves? 

The problem begins when our minds stay in the past.  While I don't think of the past very often anymore, I know a lot of people who dwell on old memories from the past – wrongs that were done to us, or mistakes that were made (our or others’), or a great loss which is still upsetting us.

Maybe you're still thinking about:

• A relationship that ended.

• An opportunity you missed.

• A career that didn't work out.

• Someone who hurt you.

• A dream that never happened.

• The life you thought you would have by now.

These experiences can leave emotional wounds that continue to use your energy long after the event has passed.  Every time you replay the story, your mind brings those emotions back to life.  Or perhaps you’re thinking of all ways you could have responded, or what should have happened, etc.  All the emotion of that time comes back up – and with it, the energy to replay, consider, and re-feel all the emotions.

Without realising it, you're spending today's energy on yesterday's events.

That energy could instead be used to:

• Create new opportunities.

• Build meaningful relationships.

• Learn something new.

• Improve your health.

• Follow your dreams.

• Enjoy the present moment.

Our life force energy is precious, and should be used wisely.

Imagine sunlight shining through a magnifying glass.  When the light is scattered, it simply warms the ground.  When it is focused, it becomes powerful enough to create change. (I'm sure you've felt this - sometimes you feel scattered, with a bit of energy all over the place, while other times you feel focused on one thing, and one thing only.)

Your attention works the same way.

The more focused you become, the more energy you have available for what truly matters.

Instead of trying to do everything, worrying about everyone, and thinking about every possible outcome, you can choose to direct your energy where it will make the biggest difference in your own life.  (And everybody has their own set of personal values, and what is most important to them.  There is no right or wrong – it’s simply what you want to do, and what you want to focus on, that allows you to live your own version of your Best Life.)

Focusing on what matters most to you helps you:

• Feel calmer.

• Make better decisions.

• Finish what you start.

• Reduce overwhelm.

• Build confidence.

• Make steady progress towards your goals.

Where your attention goes, your energy follows.

So yes, it helps to choose wisely.

Many ancient traditions teach that we all have a life force energy flowing through us.

This life force energy is known by different names around the world.  In Traditional Chinese Medicine, it is called Qi (or Chi).  In Ayurveda and yoga, it is called Prana.

While the names differ, the idea is similar.  This life force helps support the natural balance of your mind, body, and spirit, so they work together in harmony.  When your energy flows freely, you tend to experience greater ease, vitality, clarity, and emotional balance.

You often feel more alive, more peaceful, more creative, more connected, more resilient – and better able to handle life’s challenges.

Clearing the energetic blocks in the body frees up more of your life force.  It allows you to utilise more of your own natural energy.  Freeing up this energy can be described as feeling "lighter" or "more like themselves."

While there are many types of grief, the most common one tends to deal with the loss of a loved one.  This is something that almost everything can understand, and relate to.

However, there is another type of grief which is often overlooked.  It's the grief of not receiving what you hoped for.

Perhaps you hoped for:

• A loving relationship.

• Children.

• Better health.

• A successful business.

• Financial freedom.

• A supportive family.

• A different career.

• More time with someone you loved.

When those hopes don't become reality, we often carry invisible grief.

And because it isn't always recognised by others, we may never fully process it.  Instead, it quietly stays with us.  We keep thinking about what should have happened.  We compare our lives with others.  We replay old disappointments.

Little by little, that grief continues to build, and use our precious energy.  (It also builds up in our bodies over time, causing blocks to our vital energy force.)

I'm keen to release all stuck energy (including grief) from my own body, and am doing this most days as part of my own spiritual practice.

I'm using Dr Bradley Nelson's The Emotion Code process, and I find it really helpful. If you'd like to read my book review on the book of the same name, check out Releasing Emotional Baggage using The Emotion Code.

Imagine if all the energy you've been spending on the past could be redirected towards your future.

Instead of replaying old stories... You begin creating new ones.

Instead of carrying emotional weight... You begin feeling lighter.

Instead of feeling stuck... You begin moving forward with purpose.

When you release what no longer serves you, you create space. Space for joy, and love.  Space for creativity.  Space for peace.

I have spent a lot of time and effort on this, so I rarely replay and dwell on the past anymore. I have a couple of memories that sneak up now and again, and I've just noticed that sometimes I tell them as stories - however, now that I'm aware of it, I'm actively working to release the trapped emotions from my body, and will be more careful of the stories that I tell others. I now tend to focus more on what I want in the now and the future, rather than wasting time rethinking the past - which doesn't change it, and only brings in emotions that I don't want to dwell in.

And most importantly, space for you to reflect on exactly who you want to be, and how you want your life to be.

Every bit of energy you reclaim becomes available for living your Best Life.

As I’ve noted many times before, you don't have to change everything overnight. 

Small changes, which are easier to make, can build over time.  They are easier to implement, take less time to consider and do, and will still make a huge difference over time. For example, if you want feel healthier, you could start having a carrot/celery juice every day, to help cleanse your system; or perhaps go for a short walk a day, on your lunch-break; or throw out all chips and/or sweet processed biscuits, and vow not to buy them again.  Small steps forward, to help you get where you want to go. (I have a carrot/celery juice most days, and feel so much better for it. I also try not to buy processed food - most times I don't have any in the house, although on occasion, I do buy the odd item or two.)

Below I’ve noted some questions you can ask yourself on your journey of self-awareness and reflection. 

• Is this thought helping me?

• Is this situation worth my energy?

• What can I let go of today?

• What deserves my attention right now?

• What kind of life do I want to create?

Each time you choose the present instead of replaying the past, you're making an investment in your future.

A while back, on my morning walk in nature, I was listening to a podcast (Mel Robbins) and the guest speaker was Dr. Mariel Buqué, a Columbia-trained psychologist and leading expert on family dynamics and generational patterns.  The episode was called It’s Not You: Why Your Family Stresses You Out & What To Do About It.  It was absolutely fascinating, and I got a lot out of it.  She mentioned in passing that she holds a ritual for people to help them release the grief for what never was.  I immediately stopped the podcast and considered that.

How often do we allow the grief that we feel for what never was (eg. a long happy relationship, a child that didn’t make it, a friendship that didn’t last, etc.) to flow through us, process it, and let it go?  I was especially struck by her take that sometimes we don’t get the parenting that we desired.  How many people can relate to that?  I’m sure most of us can think of instances where we wish something had, or hadn’t, happened.  A time when you wanted a hug, and your parent didn’t have time, or didn’t understand, or couldn’t, for whatever reason.  I’m sure they did the best they could, however, sometimes we wished for more.

And I’m also aware of a lot of couples who tried to conceive, and struggled.  Or had other issues, and for whatever reason, no baby resulted.  That can also cause a lot of grief – but it’s not always something that people are comfortable discussing.  So it often gets locked away inside, unheard, and unseen.

I’ve thought about this a bit, and I believe there are a lot of people carrying grief around that they didn’t consciously realize they were even holding onto.  Perhaps you didn’t have time to process it in a way that you wanted to (eg. family or work commitments that demanded your time and energy – or for whatever reason you felt you couldn’t express aloud to others – even sometimes to yourself).  Sometimes, in order to function, we suppress our emotions, so we can function in a manner that is expected from us.

And yes, some heavy emotions usually fade over time, however there could still be some aspects of it that are still trapped within the body.  Or perhaps there is still some processing to do.  There are a number of layers to grief, too. 

Based on this, I've developed a new process and ritual, to help people gently allow processing time, and then ritually release that grief for that which never was.  It’s designed to gently release some of that grief, so it is acknowledged, perhaps felt (only to what is necessary at this point in time), seen, heard, and validated - especially the grief of not receiving what people had hoped for or expected in life.

This kind of grief can stay with us for years.  It can remain in our thoughts as we replay old disappointments, and many holistic traditions also believe it can be held within the body's energy, leaving us feeling emotionally heavy, drained, or unable to move forward.

The purpose of this process and ritual is to help you gently acknowledge what has been, release the emotions around the expectations of what never was, and let go of what no longer serves you.  Acknowledging and releasing these emotions and expectations allows us to move forward without that emotional weight. 

This process instead allows more space for renewed energy, and a greater peace of mind.

Because your energy is precious.

Every moment you spend carrying the past is energy that could be used to enjoy today, create tomorrow, and move one step closer to living your Best Life.

You deserve to spend your energy on a life that fills your heart with purpose, peace, love, and joy.

Your energy is precious, and how you choose to spend it shapes the life you create.

If you have been carrying old pain, disappointment, regret, or the weight of unmet hopes and expectations, know that you can gently begin to release what no longer needs to be carried.

You don't have to keep giving your energy to the past, when it could be helping you enjoy the present, and create your future.

By letting go of stuck energy, focusing on what truly matters, and reconnecting with your inner self, you can create more space for peace, clarity, joy, and possibility.

Every step you take towards releasing what weighs you down is a step towards feeling lighter, more free, and living your Best Life - with greater purpose, love, and happiness.

1. Why do I feel so emotionally drained?

Feeling emotionally drained can happen when you're carrying stress, unresolved emotions (such as grief or worry), or are constantly thinking about the past or the future.  Your mind and emotions use energy just like your body does.  Taking the time to rest, process your feelings, and focus on the present can help you feel lighter, and more energised.

2. Why is it so hard to let go of the past?

The past often feels difficult to release because it may involve loss, disappointment, unmet expectations, or painful experiences.  Your mind may keep replaying these events in an attempt to make sense of them, or protect you from being hurt again.  Healing can take time.  It’s also important to be kind to yourself, and to have a willingness to gently shift your focus towards the life you want to create today.  (Sometimes we also store trapped emotions in our body, which needs to be released.  Yin yoga can assist with this, as well as various other techniques.  Check out our article Create Space in Your Body and Mind with Yin Yoga for more on this.)

3. What is stuck or stagnant energy?

Many holistic healing traditions believe that difficult emotions and unresolved experiences can create stagnant or blocked energy within the body.  Whether you see this as an energetic belief, or as the effects of ongoing emotional stress, many people notice they feel lighter, calmer, and more peaceful after processing and releasing emotions in healthy ways.  Again, Yin Yoga can assist with this – check out the link to our article above. 

4. How do I know if I'm holding onto stuck energy?

Everyone's experience is different, but some common signs include feeling emotionally heavy, overthinking, low motivation, difficulty moving forward, feeling disconnected, increased stress, poor focus, or feeling as though you're carrying an invisible weight.  If these feelings continue or become overwhelming, speaking with a qualified healthcare professional may also be helpful.

5. What can I do to release emotional energy?

There are many gentle ways to support emotional healing, including journaling, meditation, breathwork, Reiki, spending time in nature, yin yoga, talking with someone you trust, creative activities, mindfulness, or working with a qualified therapist or holistic practitioner.  The best approach is the one that feels right for you and supports your wellbeing.

I'm using Dr Bradley Nelson's The Emotion Code process most days, and it's great. If you'd like to read my book review on the book of the same name, check out Releasing Emotional Baggage using The Emotion Code.

6. What is the benefit of focusing on the present?

When you focus on the present instead of replaying the past, you free up energy for what truly matters.  You may find it easier to make decisions, enjoy everyday moments, strengthen relationships, work towards your goals, and experience greater peace of mind.

7. Can grief stay with us for years?

Yes, it can.  Grief doesn't only happen when someone dies.  You can also grieve the life you hoped for, missed opportunities, relationships that ended, or dreams that didn't come true.  Giving yourself permission to acknowledge those feelings is often an important step towards healing and moving forward.

8. Can emotional stress affect my body?

Long-term emotional stress can affect both your mind and body.  It may contribute to muscle tension, headaches, fatigue, poor sleep, digestive changes, difficulty concentrating, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed.  Looking after both your emotional and physical wellbeing can help you feel more balanced.

9. How can I stop wasting energy on things I can't control?

Start by asking yourself "Is this within my control?"  If the answer is no, gently redirect your attention towards something you can influence today.  Small daily habits such as gratitude, mindfulness, journaling, or taking one positive action can help you shift your focus from worry to purpose.

10. How can I improve the flow of my energy?

Many people find that caring for their mind, body, and spirit helps them feel more balanced.  Eating nourishing (whole) foods, getting enough sleep, moving your body, staying hydrated, spending time in nature, practising meditation or breathwork, and making time for activities that bring you joy can all help you feel more energised and present.

11. How long does it take to release emotional baggage?

There is no set timeline because everyone's journey is different.  Some people notice positive changes quickly, while others need more time to work through deeper emotions.  Be patient with yourself, and celebrate each small step forward.  Every moment you choose healing is a step towards greater peace, freedom, and living your Best Life.

12. What is the biggest benefit of releasing stuck energy?

When you release what no longer serves you, you create space for new possibilities.  You may experience greater peace of mind, clearer thinking, improved focus, stronger relationships, more emotional resilience, and more energy to enjoy the present, and create the future you truly want.

Sometimes suppressed emotions can feel a little overwhelming, so we created a free checklist with a few journal prompts to help. You can download Managing Your Emotions - Free Checklist and Journal Prompts here.

If you know you have some unresolved grief (including grief for what never was eg. long happy marriage, or children), I offer a personalised process, where we work through it together, and let it go. Check it out here.

If you'd like to explore your own personal values, our free mini-course The Values Code: Unlocking Your Best Self is available to help you uncover them. Divided into short sections (video coming soon), it takes you through what values are, how they came into being, and how to work out what your own top values are, with handouts to help.

Want more practical ideas and thought-provoking content on a regular basis?  Don’t miss out on all the hints & tips that you can implement over time!  Sign up for weekly input to help you uplift your life – one week at a time!

We have also created stand-alone pages in the 7 life segments with all blogs, freebies, and paid products grouped together, so you can easily find and review items of interest to you.  Click on the links below to find the areas of most interest to you!  

Life Purpose & Best Life - Health & Wellness - Relationships - Abundance - Personal Growth - Peace of Mind - Spirituality & Energy.

https://myss.com/the-only-valuable-thing-you-have/   

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/how-we-work/201603/5-ways-to-use-your-energy-more-wisely

https://www.caregiversolutions.ca/featured-carousel/6-great-ways-to-spend-your-time-and-energy-wisely/

https://www.oprah.com/ownyourhealth/how-oprah-relaxes-what-oprah-does-to-relax

The information shared in this blog post is for educational and inspirational purposes only.  It is intended to support your personal growth, self-reflection, and wellbeing journey.

Energy practices, meditation, mindfulness, journalling, and holistic approaches can be beautiful tools to support emotional wellbeing and personal transformation.  However, they are not a replacement for professional medical, psychological, or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Everyone's healing journey is unique, and what feels supportive for one person may not feel the same for another.

Please always listen to your own body, trust your intuition, and seek support from a qualified healthcare professional when needed.

The ideas shared about energy flow, stuck energy, and releasing emotions are based on holistic traditions and personal experiences.  They are offered as gentle practices for reflection and self-awareness, rather than proven medical explanations.

Your journey is your own, and you are encouraged to choose the tools, practices, and support that feel right for you as you create a life filled with greater peace, purpose, love, and joy.