Certainty vs Variety - The Hidden Keys to Feeling Grounded and Alive
Aug 27, 2025
Have you ever felt torn between wanting things to stay the same, and craving something new? If so, that's normal — both feelings are part of being human (as I'm sure you know).
Tony Robbins, a well-known speaker and personal development coach, talks about six basic human needs, and two of them are certainty and variety. While they might seem like opposites, both are essential for living a full, happy life (i.e. your Best Life). (You might like to read this with your own life n mind – and discover where you stand, and whether you feel the need for a little more certainty or variety in your life right now. I know in my life I’ve moved between the two a number of times, and am always balancing them for peace of mind, and a sense of excitement. I struggled when I wasn't sure if I would have a job for months on end (looking for jobs while not working, as well as when on secondment, unsure if I'd have a job at the end). I also love adventure (variety) – and as one of my close friends craves adventure, I've done a lot of them! š
We will discuss what each of them is, how they can show up in our lives, and how you can find your own unique balance between the two.
What Is Certainty?
Certainty is our need to feel safe, secure, and in control. It’s the part of us that wants to know what’s going to happen next. There are some typical instances where we tend to feel certain, such as the following examples.
- We have a steady job or income
- We follow a daily routine
- We know how someone we love will respond
- We’re healthy, and feel grounded in our body
Certainty gives us a sense of stability and comfort. It lowers stress, and helps us feel calm and relaxed. We all need a bit of this in our lives — it helps us feel like we can handle whatever comes our way. (Our nervous system likes a bit of certainty, as well.)
People who love certainty enjoy having a steady job, a stable home, as well familiar friends and family around them. I’m sure you know a lot of people like this – the steady workers who stay put, the family people who buy a house, and are happy to enjoy the same people and activities over time – loving the familiarity everything brings. People who highly value certainty often don’t understand the need the travel, to keep trying new things, to go out and meet new people, or go on adventures.
But having said that – sometimes too much certainty can start to feel boring, or that you’re stuck (depending on how much you feel the need for certainty).
What Is Variety?
Variety is our need for change, excitement, and surprise. It’s the spark that makes life feel interesting – that time where we are happily surprised, and feel a glow from the excitement.
A few examples of variety are noted below.
- We go on a holiday, or a weekend trip
- We try something new (like a new recipe, class, or activity)
- We meet new people, or explore new ideas
- We take risks, or step outside our comfort zone
Variety brings growth, creativity, and fun into our lives. It shakes things up, and gives us new energy. Without it, life can start to feel dull or flat.
Do you know people who just LOVE variety? They’re often restless, travel often, always trying new things, and/or might be an adrenaline junkie. I know a few people like this – and one person in particular just doesn’t understand the need for certainty in other people’s lives. They feel that ‘they’ are missing out on all the adventures that life has to offer – and doesn’t understand the pull toward family, stability, and the familiar.
However - too much variety can sometimes feel chaotic or overwhelming if there’s no grounding force (depending on how much you feel the need for variety).
So Which One Do You Need More Of?
To live a truly balanced and interesting life - we all need both. But how much of each depends on your personality, your current stage in life, and even what’s going on in your world right now.
Some people lean more toward certainty — they like routine, structure, and predictability. Others naturally crave variety — they love adventure, change, and trying new things.
Neither one is better than the other.
Tony Robbins explains that both certainty and variety are core needs, and we often meet them in different ways — some helpful, some not so helpful. For example, someone might seek certainty through control, or perfectionism. Another might chase variety through constant scrolling or drama. The key is to meet your needs in a healthy, empowering way.
How to Find Your Own Balance
There are a number of questions you can ask yourself to help find your own balance between the two.
- Do I feel safe and supported in my life right now?
- Am I bored or restless, craving something new?
- Do I have routines that ground me?
- Do I have moments of fun, adventure, or surprise?
If you feel too much certainty, maybe you’re ready to shake things up - try a new class, meet someone new, explore a fresh idea.
If you feel too much variety, maybe it’s time to bring in more structure - create a daily rhythm, set a goal, or slow things down to catch your breath.
Balance doesn’t mean ‘equal amounts’ — it means what feels right for you. And choosing each moment as it comes up. If it turns out to be not what you needed, just make another decision. Experiment, until you feel your life is in a great balance for you.
Using This to Live Your Best Life
Living your Best Life isn’t about having everything perfect. It’s about feeling fulfilled, connected, and alive.
It depends on how you are feeling as to what your balance is, whether or not you feel the need to take action.
- If you feel safe and supported (certainty), you can relax and be present.
- If you feel inspired and open to new experiences (variety), you stay curious and excited.
When you get the balance of certainty and variety right, they help you:
- Feel more confident
- Grow through new experiences
- Stay grounded through change
- Create a life that feels rich, not rushed
You might find certainty in a daily walk, or a weekly catch-up with a friend. You might find variety in journaling with different prompts, trying a dance class, or exploring a new way of thinking.
The magic happens when you learn to give yourself both.
Final Thoughts
Take a moment today to check in, and see how you feel about certainty, and variety.
- Where do you need more certainty?
- Where could you invite in a little variety?
There’s no right or wrong — just what helps you feel more like you. When you get that balance right, life flows more easily. You feel stronger, more present, and more joyful.
And, as you can imagine, that's a powerful step toward living your Best Life.
š FAQ - Certainty vs Variety – Finding Your Balance
Q - What does Tony Robbins mean by ‘certainty’ and ‘variety’?
A - According to Tony Robbins, certainty is the need to feel safe, stable, and secure — knowing what to expect. Variety is the need for change, excitement, and surprise. Both are basic human needs, and we all experience them in different ways.
Q - Can you have too much certainty, or too much variety?
A - Yes. Too much certainty can make life feel boring or stuck. Too much variety can feel overwhelming or chaotic. The goal is to find the right balance that works for you — so life feels both steady and exciting.
Q - How do I know which one I need more of right now?
A – There are a number of questions you can ask yourself to work out the answer to this question.
- Do I feel bored or stuck? You may need more variety.
- Do I feel scattered or anxious? You may need more certainty.
Tuning into your feelings can guide you toward what your body and mind are craving.
Q - Is it bad to want routine and predictability?
A – No, not at all! Certainty is important for emotional safety, especially during stressful or uncertain times. It helps us feel grounded. Routines can be comforting, and even healing.
Q - How can I bring more variety into my life without creating chaos?
A - Start small. Try a new hobby, walk a different route, or explore new ideas. Variety doesn’t have to be big or dramatic — it just needs to be fresh and meaningful.
Q - Can I meet both needs at the same time?
A – Yes, you certainly can. Some activities meet both needs at once. For example, a regular yoga class (certainty) that includes different sequences each week (variety), or cooking meals at home but trying a new recipe each time.
Q - How do certainty and variety help me live my Best Life?
A - They support your emotional wellbeing. Certainty helps you feel safe and steady. Variety keeps your spirit alive and open. When both are in harmony, life feels more fulfilling and joyful.
Q - Are some people just more wired for variety than others?
A - Yes, personality plays a big role. Some people thrive on change and adventure, while others prefer familiarity and calm. It’s not about being right or wrong — it’s about honoring who you are.
Q - What if my partner or loved ones need the opposite of what I need?
A - That’s very common. It helps to have open and kind communication. You can each meet your needs in ways that support each other — for example, planning new experiences while also maintaining shared routines.
Q - How can I start creating more balance today?
A - Reflect on one area of life — like your health, relationships, or work. Ask - Where do I need more stability? Where would a little excitement or change feel good? Then take one small action.
References/Further Reading
https://www.tonyrobbins.com/blog/do-you-need-to-feel-significant
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Disclaimer
The ideas shared in Certainty vs Variety: The Hidden Keys to Feeling Grounded and Alive are for general information and personal reflection only. They are not medical, psychological, or financial advice. Everyone is unique, so please use what feels right for you and leave the rest. If you have concerns about your health, wellbeing, or personal situation, please seek support from a qualified professional.
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