When to Walk Away From a Friendship (And When Not To)
Jul 09, 2025
How to Know When to Hold On or Let Go
Friendships are one of the most important parts of life. They bring laughter, connection, comfort, and support. But sometimes, even the best friendships hit rough patches. Maybe you’ve had a misunderstanding, a falling out, or just drifted apart. It’s completely normal to ask yourself ‘Is this friendship worth repairing?’
Considering whether you should fix a broken friendship can be a difficult and emotionally challenging decision.
I know in the past that I’ve had friendships that I’ve thought twice about. Sometimes it’s because I seem to be the one doing all the work; sometimes we just drift apart due to different interests or priorities; and sometimes one of us is more invested in the relationship than the other – with one chasing the other one (which in turns needs good communication, and healthy boundaries). It can be difficult to know what to do – and there isn’t always a nice, clear-cut answer. Although having said that, there are a few different aspects we can consider to help us decide if a friendship is worth saving.
Why Friendships Get Strained
Even strong friendships can go through hard times. Common reasons include:
- Miscommunication
- Hurt feelings
- Life changes (like moving, new jobs, relationships)
- Different values or priorities
- Unspoken expectations
None of these automatically mean the friendship is over. But they might be signs that it’s time to pause and reflect. I’ve gone through all of the above friendship issues, and sometimes the friendships last, and other times they don’t. It’s worth considering the following points when reflecting on strained friendships, and whether a friendship is worth repairing – or not.
5 Signs a Friendship Might Be Worth Saving
I’ve noted some clues below that you can consider – and can show whether your friendship may still have a strong foundation – which could be used as the basis for friendship healing.
- You Miss Them (and Not Just the Routine)
If you find yourself thinking about your friend, and truly missing their presence — not just the convenience — they probably meant a lot to you.
- There’s Been More Good Than Bad
Think about the friendship history between you. Were most of your moments filled with support, love, and laughter? That kind of connection is special, and not always easy to find again. (I have to admit, there have been a few friendships I’ve had over the years that I allowed to dwindle away, and in retrospect, should have tried harder to maintain.)
- They’re Willing to Talk and Listen
A friendship can only heal if both people are open to honest, kind conversation. If your friend is open to reconnecting, that’s a hopeful sign. (And in all honesty, being willing to listen is a key criteria in my friendships anyway – after all, if they don’t listen, what do you really have?)
- You Both Take Responsibility
It’s not about who was ‘right’. It’s about whether both sides are willing to own their part, and understand the other person’s feelings. (And sometimes that comes with self-reflection, and being willing to grow and change and mature, becoming a better person. We have a Friendship Journal which can help with this.)
- You Feel Better After Talking to Them
A good friend makes you feel seen, safe, and valued — even after tough conversations. If your heart feels lighter when you're around them, it might be worth trying again. (I’m sure you’ve been around other people, maybe even other friends, who you feel drained around, and you can only be around for short periods of time.)
When It Might Be Time to Let Go
Not every friendship is meant to last forever. And that’s okay. Sometimes people are are in your life for a phase, like a season. Perhaps you had similar hobbies, or worked together – and when the hobby stopped, or one of you left work, the friendship wasn’t strong enough to survive – perhaps you didn’t have enough in common, or your values were different.
And sometimes letting go is a way of choosing peace. (After all, it’s not healthy to be surrounded by drama all the time – or even being around a person who is so negative all the time that it became toxic to your mind, body, and soul.)
Letting go may be the kindest option when:
- The relationship feels one-sided
- You feel anxious, drained, or judged around them
- There's been repeated dishonesty or disrespect
- Your boundaries aren’t honored
- Growth feels blocked by staying connected
You can still care about someone deeply, and choose to step away. (And if you need more on boundaries, our blog How to Set Boundaries with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: A Kind and Gentle Approach can help.)
How to Start the Repair Process
If you decide the friendship is worth another try, there are a few steps you can take.
- Reach out with kindness — Keep it simple. A text like ‘Hey, I’ve been thinking about you. Would you be open to catching up sometime?’ is enough.
- Be honest and open — Share your feelings, not just your side. Use ‘I’ statements, like ‘I felt hurt when...’
- Listen with love — Let your friend speak without interrupting, or defending yourself.
- Forgive and let go — If you both want to move forward, leave the past behind you. Don’t keep bringing it up, or the friendship will continue to be strained.
We also have a Friendship Journal which can help with this – in addition to the 50 journal prompts to help you reflect on the friendship, and what you want out of it, there are also 30 message templates to save on anxiety and over-thinking about how to approach them again.
Conclusion - Tune Into Your Heart
Friendships can be beautiful, healing, and even life-changing. But like any relationship, they take honesty, care, and effort. The real question is: Does this friendship support the person you’re becoming? If the answer feels like a yes, it may be worth another chance.
Want to Reflect More Deeply?
If you’re still unsure, the Friendship Journal is a great tool to help you go within, and really consider what you want from your friendship. With 50 journal prompts for deep reflection (and 30 messages to help you reach out), as well as space for your thoughts, it will help you:
- Understand what this friendship means to you
- Reflect on your own needs and values
- Decide what’s truly important for your heart
Sometimes, the answers come when we stop rushing, and take time to reflect. (I'm sure you've found that before, right?)
🙋 FAQ - Is a Friendship Worth Repairing?
- How do I know if a friendship is really over?
If you’ve tried talking, set clear boundaries, and still feel hurt or drained after every interaction, it might be time to let go. Friendships that leave you feeling anxious or not accepted may not be healthy anymore.
- Should I be the one to reach out first?
If the friendship matters to you, it’s okay to take the first step — even if your friend hasn’t. A simple message can open the door to healing. Just be honest and kind, and don’t expect a perfect response right away. Sometimes it can take time to repair a friendship, however if you are both willing to do the work, it’s a great start to repairing it.
- What if my friend doesn’t want to fix things?
That can hurt, but it also gives you clarity. If they’re not open to reconnecting, it’s okay to respect their choice, and focus on friendships that are mutual, supportive, and caring. You can grieve, but once you’ve felt the feelings, let it go, and focus on what you do have.
- Can all friendships be repaired?
Not always. Some friendships break because of deep hurts, repeated patterns, or different life paths. That doesn’t mean it was a waste — it just means the friendship served its purpose, and it’s time to let go, and spend time on other friendships.
- What are some signs of a healthy friendship?
- You feel safe and supported
- You can be yourself
- You both listen and care
- There’s trust and respect
- It feels balanced, not one-sided
- How long should I wait before trying to reconnect?
There’s no perfect timing. Wait until you feel calm, and ready to speak from the heart, not from anger or pain. That might be days, weeks, or longer — and that’s okay. Everyone is different, and you need to honour yourself, while also going within and knowing yourself and how you feel.
- How can the Friendship Journal help?
It gives you space to explore your feelings, your needs, and your patterns in friendships. You’ll gain clarity on what you truly want from a friend — and what you're willing to give. It’s a gentle way to tune into your heart.
📚 Additional Resources
On the theme of relationships, and issues, our free Active Listening challenge (7 days) can be found here if you’d like to try it – or even download it and do it with (or for) somebody else! 🤭
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References/Further Reading
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-mentality/201804/how-heal-fractured-friendship
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/emotional-nourishment/202212/ending-friendship
https://theallendercenter.org/2023/04/friendship-cycles-part-2/
https://shoalhavenpsychology.com.au/healthy-relationships-the-art-of-conflict-and-repair/
📘 Disclaimer
This blog is for general information and personal reflection only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health, counselling, or legal advice. Everyone’s situation is unique — please reach out to a qualified professional if you need support with complex or emotionally distressing friendship issues.
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